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(no subject) [Oct. 20th, 2004|11:37 pm]
[mood |recumbentrecumbent]
[music |At Last-Etta James]

I finally got internet cable! Woo Hoo! Yay! Anyways…

I really feel close with Jonathan these last 2 weeks. I don’t know what’s different or what’s new. But I do feel like its going to last a long while. I only ask now- Is this love?
Is it not at first sight? Is it not knowing from the very first moment? Is it not butterflies everyday? Is it not heaven on Earth? Is it just someone I can compromise with for a lifetime; like Mrs. Sarnowski said?
I’ve listened to Mr. Dollar describe love as he knows it. He claims that the key to the ultimate relationship is to put two people together that honestly believe they do not deserve one another, sit back and enjoy. Does Jonathan deserve me? This love is nothing like I imagined. I am I disappointed? …no.
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(no subject) [Oct. 19th, 2004|08:07 am]
[mood |jubilantjubilant]
[music |cnn]

I had the most wonderful weekend!! Jonathan got a cabin in the middle of Helen. It was opening weekend of Oktober fest. We got there really late Friday night because I had to work all day.
It was a cute little place. We got in, went to a few little bars. They had great live music. That night Jonathan built a fire and we talked for a few hours while listening to panic. In the morning we slept in. We had a great lunch I forgot where it was. In the end our lunch was free because we waited so long.. and we didn’t even say anything. It was great. We then went shopping, then to a reptile exhibit, and then we fed the bears. Later we met up with some of his friends that we found out were in the area. We all hung out for a little bit and then went to another bar for some live music and buttery nipples. Danced to songs like Mustang Sally, Brown Eyed Girl, Sweet Home Albama...I had the best time.
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no! BAD Copperhead. BAD! [Sep. 12th, 2004|02:23 am]
[mood |pensivepensive]
[music |opera cd]

My mind-set has been chemically altered now. I’m a bit happier during the day. It’s a little depressing at home…Kinda lonely – But I know I’m happier this way- I know that sounds weird. I’ve been packing tonight. The leasing office has a 1 bedroom available for me to move in on Sept. 23rd. Um..

Ikiinu was wrestling a copperhead last night and she was bitten on her snout. My mom wasn’t sure what happened. She noticed iki had a small puncture wound on her and her face started to swell. Finally at 11 they took her to an animal hospital in Fayetteville. They put her on an IV …pumped her with antibiotics and pain killers. She was much better tonight. Her face has deflated. But is looks like she swallowed a tennis ball. There is a big lump in her chest. Whatever had her face swollen is going thru her body- you can literally see it move down thru the hours. She’ll prolly be good as new in the morning.

I have so many things to do at work- its so crazy. I am sleeping in today. Goodnight.
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3 [Aug. 30th, 2004|08:58 pm]
[mood |enviousenvious]

A three bedroom apartment with no furniture except a dinning room set is a little too much for me. I feel like I'm wasting space. I'm surely wasting money.

I really don't want to move back in with mom. I just want a 2 bedroom -pet friendly place for me and ikiinu. But we all know its a bad idea.
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my august sin [Aug. 17th, 2004|09:57 pm]
[mood |sicksick]
[music |Fetes Tziganes]

I still refuse to believe my happiness is chemical dependant. I haven’t taken my medicine in almost two weeks. I’m starting to hate myself ...…and hating everyone else too. It's just a side effect of being sober I guess
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jenny [Aug. 11th, 2004|12:04 am]
[mood |blahblah]
[music |come together- the beatles]

I thought our friendship was unbreakable.. I met jenny when she hit the bottom.. she met me right after. I think I’m still recovering from that year in some ways.

Here lies the broken friendship of Jessie and Jenny Brought together by fate and ripped apart by drugs. RIP

She knew how I felt about her brother when he brought drugs into the house. She even used to make fun of him about it.

Her mom used to be a narcotics agent.

Her Aunt died from a overdose.

She brought a complete stranger in our home. One of the big sellers in the neighborhood.
(what if he got mad because she wouldn’t sleep with him..she could be murderd, beat up, or raped.)

She endangered all of her friends by letting them know where we lived.

She threw away a three yr friendship away over drugs.
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DAMN [Aug. 9th, 2004|12:41 am]
[mood |cynicalcynical]

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[mood |sillysilly]

today is my 21st birthday. I'm excited. I'll be working 9-7. I hope its a good day. I'll letcha know how it goes later.
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I want my mommy [Aug. 5th, 2004|11:21 pm]
[mood |pissed offpissed off]

God, how’d I get in to so much drama. I thought I always did pretty well to keep away from it. I feel like such a bitch. I called the police on my roommate. I feel so naive to just learn that she’s been doing drugs for nearly a month. She knows how I feel about that. She’s angry with me. I wouldn’t expect any less. I’m pissed that she only thought of herself put all of her roommates in danger, invited the head dealer in our home, we could possibly get evicted, she is sacrificing lifetime relationships for a temporary high. I honestly don’t want to live with her anymore. I told her to take her name off the lease.
After long talks with mom, jonathan, go over and over in my head. The policeman told me what I've been looking to hear all along. "You're doing the right thing."
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long time [Aug. 4th, 2004|12:19 am]
[mood |goodgood]
[music |at last by etta james (gooood stuff)]

It’s been a long time. I know.

I just got back from the Bahamas with Jonathan. We had a blast! I can’t tell you much. Jonathan likes to keep the special things we do between us. We did go snorkeling. I loved that. We saw huge sting rays, a gigantic puffer fish, and two 14 inch barracudas. Jonathan is starting a list of new favorite restaurants for me since we’ve been dating. The second one down on the list is in the Bahamas. I love the décor. Every hour they have shark feedings. That was amazing. The food- awe! I’m drooling at the thought. Very nice.
I feel that in many ways the trip brought us closer. Over our last meal in the Bahamas he said- “well, at least we know we can spend long periods of time together.” To which, I don’t believe that was a good test. A test like that can’t be set in paradise. That’s why I’ve always believed a road trip is one of the ultimate tests of a relationship. You’re forced in on each other. And you can’t just drop em off in Idaho or something.
In other areas of my life- work is going great. I’ll be 21 in 2 days, my car is still alive, I made A’s in my summer classes. I’ve been extremely busy. I’m getting sleepy now. Nite.
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